2019 was by far the toughest year of my life – Jo here.
It started off with some of the toughest news any person can here – Cancer. Mum was diagnosed with leukaemia just before Christmas 2018 and spent the first six weeks of 2019 in the hospital, where her treatments continued for six + months. It all happened so fast, one minute we were packing the car with camping gear due to head off on a family trip. We were actually leaving right after Mum’s doctor’s appointment. But that idea ended pretty fast as Mum went from the doctor’s office directly to the hospital and that’s where she stayed for about 6 weeks.
That very day the cars got unpacked and 2019 looked so different.
I kept it tough. I didn’t cry in front of anyone much, I kept on working and didn’t have any downtime. I tried to keep up a strong front but the truth is I was suffocating. At times I felt like I couldn’t breathe and so I started to see a life coach. I initially saw her to help me lose weight, which didn’t happen, but what did happen was, she kept me sane.
I started journaling, something I’d never done before in my life! I’d just write down things I was grateful for.
“Shane for being my husband”
“The sun today”
“My essential oils”
“The car I drive which gets me to the hospital”
“My business which allows me to work from home”
The whole time I mostly cried by myself, mainly when in the car driving. But I just kept telling myself that Mum would get through it, I kept telling the kids she would be ok, and most of all I kept telling Mum to just keep fighting. Even when she was diagnosed terminal, when she had a bleed on the brain, when she said “I can’t do it anymore” I said “FIGHT! You’re going to be ok”.
We used oils, I researched every holistic thing I could find along with Tracey and Dad, even when people judged and when Mum doubted it would help, we did it anyway. We diffused oils, Dad rubbed oils on her legs and spine, Dad even bought a juicer and started juicing! No stone was going unturned.
During that time we started to write our book, Everyday Additive-Free. When sitting in the oncology ward we’d take our laptops and write. It kept us going I think, and Mum wanted it that way. I remember only a couple of days after she was diagnosed I was sitting in her hospital room and she said: “are you going to make Presidential Diamond yet?”. For those that don’t know, Presidential Diamond is the highest rank in the doTERRA business. We were way off that, but I made her a promise. I promised her that if we made it she needed to be alive to see it. We shook hands on it, but as yet we haven’t help up our end of the bargain. A fact of which Mum reminds me of, haha!
In February, Tracey and I placed second in the doTERRA incentive trip. We had won a trip to Vietnam, mostly all paid for. We had an opportunity to hang out with 100+ other Wellness Advocates, two who were in our direct team. We toyed up going but Mum pushed us onto the plane, so off we went. The trip was awesome but of course, my mind wandered back to home most of the time. We were also launching another round of Additive-Free Made Easy while we were there and was busy with that. Looking back now, I wish we could have just stopped and been in the moment.
Shane, the kids and I had a cruise booked for March which we had already booked and paid for before Mum got sick, so we questioned going on this too. We did end up going and we met some lifelong friends on the cruise, we loved the islands but to be honest, we didn’t like cruising and will never do another one again ?. I really just couldn’t wait to get home.
Our cookbook was, by now, in full swing. We worked hard on this, my gosh was it a lot of work! We really underestimated just how much work it would be.
In May we cooked on stage at the doTERRA 2019 convention. I shared my additive-free story with over 5,000 people and then, with Trace, we whipped up a range of dishes using the oils. It was awesome and a highlight for sure! Just before we flew out to Sydney Mum got the great news she was officially in remission! Everyone’s prayers were answered!
In June we closed down our retail store.
In July we attended the doTERRA leadership retreat.
August was full-blown all about the book, nothing but the book, cooking, and more cooking, we needed to meet a deadline and we were struggling!
In September we attended the AusMumpreneur awards and won first place in the ‘Making a Difference’ category and 2nd place in the ‘Influencer” category. We were also nominated for AusMum of the Year and made it all the way to the finals. Which we were super excited about!
October we held our first-ever Lifestyle Wellness Event in Hobart. People flew in from all over the country for it!
November we went to Guatemala and Mexico City with doTERRA’s Co-Impact Sourcing Team.
December had the normal rush of school concerts, carols, dance concerts, gymnastic displays etc.
And I lost my mind…
As I scrolled through my photos of 2019 I just cried. I have so much to be bloody grateful for, yet here I am having a mini-mental breakdown! I couldn’t move, I didn’t want to get out of bed, I watched Netflix for two days, nobody was allowed to talk to me. I’m heavier than I’ve been in a long time (even though I’ve ‘dieted’ all year) and I seriously even started to wonder if I wanted to do this job anymore. This broke my heart the most, a business Tracey and I have put our whole heart and soul into, and here I was questioning if I wanted to do it anymore. A business that helps thousands of people every year, and I was thinking about quitting?
Was this really the life I wanted to create?
After a lot of soul searching and digging deep I did a couple of things…
I remembered a Podcast I recently recorded with Gemma from The Manifesting Mum (airing January 2020) and she said something along the lines of ‘we have the power to get ourselves out of any situation’. So I started thinking of ways I could get out of this mess I’d put myself in.
- First thing I did was I listened to that voice inside my head. The one that keeps telling me “put down your phone Jo, you are just scrolling”. So I deleted the Facebook and Facebook pages Apps and told myself that it’s ok to respond to notifications on my computer only.
- I am going to set my working hours in January around the kids and take a bit of a breather, but, more importantly, NOT feel guilty about it! For years I’ve felt guilty for being at work, but then also felt guilty for being with the kids and not at work. Fark the guilt!
- I’m going to breathe in and out more. In 2020 I’m going to learn how to meditate properly and do it regularly. I’m going to try and meditate every day with the help of the Calm App I’ve just purchased.
- In 2020 I promise myself to lower my cortisol levels and when I feel stressed, figure out why and then do something to alleviate it.
- I’m also going to get myself into a healthy BMI. I can hand on heart say I love my body, but it’s about how I FEEL. And right now I feel slow, bloated, uncomfortable and I don’t want to live like this anymore. This WILL change in 2020 and by my 40th in November 2020 I’ll be the healthiest I’ve ever been.
Why am I telling you all of this?
I don’t know really? Maybe to make you realise that you too have hope. That maybe by me sharing my struggles you’ll realise that you’re not alone and that no matter what, we all have the power to get ourselves out of it. This isn’t going to be easy, but it’ll be worth it.
In 2020 I cannot wait to hit Presidential Diamond along with our cracking team. I can’t wait to make an even bigger impact on the nation by sharing this additive-free message. I’m looking forward to inspiring schools to ditch the Zooper Doopers and Quelches and I’m looking forward to being more present in each moment and taking the time to smell the roses.
So bring on 2020, I cannot wait! That fire inside my belly is back and it feels soooooo good!
Blessings to you.
Jo x
Thanks for your openness, I will share my year of 2019 with you.
My dad has been fighting skin cancers, squamous cell carcinoma’s since 2008.
In 2016 I was introduced to Doterra Essential oils, just before dad was diagnosed with another one, already the right side of his face had one removed and a large skin graft taken from his face for this surgery, then in June 2016, we were given the news by his Cancer specialist another two had come up on the same side of his face, major facial reconstruction for this, so now his right side of his face is grafts from his legs.
I was blessed this time to be able to introduce doTerra into his daily regime, and thankful that Dad and Mum also took it on board till now roller blends are used daily.
Fast forward now to 2019, the year had been progressing well until June , Dad had a fall, slipped on water in a hallway, while attending a Drs appt at a hospital.
The next 3 months were spent with physio and being house bound, due to immobility.
September dad’s health took a huge decline, and we rushed him to hospital, after being there for approx one week, they told us he was fading away. That was a huge statement, but I could see that he was not looking like he would rally around as he had in previous times, even after his major cancer surgeries.
Well true to form with Dad, within 3 days of the dr giving us that shocking news, he got up started walking and started to eat again. Dr’s were amazed and so were we.
Then a lesion appeared on his right leg, finally after forcing the issue to get another opinion, we were told it is another squamous cell carcinoma.
Just when I say next year has to be better, a curve ball is thrown again.
Surgery for removal in February, but now I have been told also about Symphony of the cells, so another oily treatment coming up.
Hope your year in 2020 is a happier one than last year, and your mums health remains with her.
Thank you for all your posts during the year, and especially for your book.
Looking to a brighter 2020 , eventually
Hi Sue, it sounds to me like your dad is a real fighter!! What a legend! It also sounds like he’s got some pretty amazing support around him.
I hope it all goes well for you guys, good luck for February.
Much love
Jo x
Thanks Jo, love your honesty. ? I also aim to become healthier in 2020 and this blog gave me the nudge I needed to commiting to do better by myself in the coming new year.
Hi Michelle,
So glad it can help you in some way :)
Much love
Jo x
Hi Jo, we each have to run our own race, your issues are totally yours, and nobody else’s. Your sister’s issues are hers alone, and mine are mine. You get the drift. We all go through these seasons of ups and downs, unfortunately the downtimes can bring us to our knees and make us truly wonder ‘why?’
I have a guardian angel in the form of a friend who is way more spiritual than me, and she showed me the light, when I was in a dark place. My prayers every day, help me to navigate the paths I end up on. I ask for spiritual guidance and help, and I believe I get it.
At the age of 62, I am finally at peace with myself. But gee whiz, it has taken all of the previous years of anguish and angst to get here. Some people have a cruizey life (or so you might think), others have to struggle each and every day. To be somewhere in between I think, is good. Success is oh so sweet when you know how hard you have worked to achieve it.
Take care of you, listen to your body, love yourself more, and let those who love you, help you. Good luck, and may 2020 be a good season xoxox
What a nice thing to write and say. I’m so glad you’re at peace with yourself ?
I finally feel like I’m back to where I should be and it feels so darn good!
Blessing to you,
Jo x
I feel Like you are reading my mind. I am also turning 40 next year, my husband and I have two businesses and four kids. I am the heaviest I’ve ever been and am trying to push myself to get fit and run again. I have found an amazing naturopath who is helping me so much but I know I need to get my kindest in the right place. I am waiting for your book to arrive so I can get my family additive free x
Hi Hayley, you got this babe! Let’s ride this wave together and shift that mindset to a positive one. Bring on 2020. Jo x
Oh Jo, what a year! You’ve trodden the tightrope between pain and joy, fun and anguish, all the things in life that challenge us in one go! It’s no wonder you’re where you got to.
I love your promises to you.
I’ve had i didn’t plan too. I think a lot of us have. Planets? Horoscopes? Who knows. For me, it’s been that life threw a few curveballs and I didn’t t even get to Elite which I thought I’d kill and at least reach Silver. But life had other plans and I’ve beaten myself up too.
However, I did go to my first US Convention and that was amazing. I did prioritise family and my Ma who we had to put into Aged Care in January. So a time of upset, lost plans, and discombobulation. I did a lot of self-flagellation and had a lot of angst about not doing better, am I doing this right?, do people like me? All those things we do.
So, yes, 2019 wasn’t the year I did hoped for. But, do you know, I’m still here, I love helping people, I know it’s what I want to do, I’m determined to help others be healthy and well.
Do what you love Jo. Do what gives you joy and that’s should include being with those you love and being you. So best wishes for 2020!
Hi Leonie, thank you so much for your lovely kind words. I look forward to seeing you walk that Diamond purple carpet and will be cheering you on! Make 2020 all you dreamed for. Jo x
Very heartfelt, definitely a rollercoaster of a year. Time to get you back now though, good on you!! Really can’t believe you are turning 40!! X
I KNOW!!! 40 ?
I’m back baby, with a passion.
Jo x
I can relate..my Mum was diagnosed with cancer in 2018 and everything that could go wrong did…but we got through it and she did so well for most of 2019. However she became unwell in September..a couple of 2 week stints in hospital and a roller coaster week after being told she would be ok we were told the next day she had cancer(different) …she passed away less than 48 hours later. It’s bloody tough. My weight is through the roof, so is my anxiety. 2020 is a new year and a new decade..bring it on. Xx
Hi Sharon, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and thoughts are with you. We just need to take one step in front of the other and focus on the positives. I hope you have a lovely 2020 and beyond. Jo x
Thank you Jo, I think we all have our days and feeling of what am I doing, and need to rethink and evaluate the meaning of our purpose in our life for us and our family.
Ive too being struggling emotionally with work and family and trying to find a balance, and I’m still trying to figure it out hopefully I get it before next year.
Hi Kylie. It’s a slow process I think but perfection is not the key. We got this! Jo x
Love your blog Jo very inspiring, also can’t wait for your Additive Free Lifestyle book to arrive. You and Tracey inspired me at Convention and I regularly follow your posts. Glad your Mum is doing well. Hoping 2020 is your Brand New beginning and brings you great success. Take Care and enjoy the journey.
Thank you so much Sharon, that’s a really nice thing to say. Bring on 2020, I hope it’s all you ever dreamed it’ll be. Jo x
Oh Jo, you made me tear up. I think 2019 was pretty shitty collectively. So many ups and downs and for many people all the feels that had been squashed came to the fore and had to be dealt with.
I discovered you ladies at the Doterra Convention and have been a huge fan since. You guys really are making a difference and deserve to be proud of yourselves.
I can relate to so much of what you’re feeling, sadly, I have lost both my parents and I miss them terribly. I am also struggling with the whole weight loss thing, I have had so many friends tell me once you have a hysterectomy you will struggle with weight gain, but I refuse to give up. You have helped to inspire me.
Thankyou.
Bring on 2020 – we’re ready for you.
Kind regards
Cheryl
Awe Cheryl, thank you for your lovely kind words. You also have this, we’ll do it together. Jo x
Thanks Jo for opening up. I had a little meltdown reading your words. I’ve had a pretty yucky 12 months too. I’ve not allowed myself to stop and shed a tear or breathe.
I had to admit my father to a secure dementia facility and he’s kicking and fighting the whole way. From setting off fire alarms to ripping palings off the fence. He was always a difficult man who was rather tyrannical in the way he treated my Mum and our family. Because of the dementia his behaviour has presented itself to the world. As you can imagine it’s opened up a lifetime of bad memories and emotions.
I’ve spent the past 6 months empowering my Mum and letting her know it’s ok to do what she wants now and really nurture herself. All along I’ve been struggling with a care facility that doesn’t hold up their end of the care agreement.
In July I had a fall at Mum’s place, tripping over a dog bed left on the floor. I fractured 8 ribs and could barely breathe without pain. But I still had to be there to do all the things that were necessary for both my parents.
I had 8 weeks of recovery with little sleep.
I’m now fully healed but still haven’t had the time to sit and digest all that has happened this year. I keep telling myself to stop and just breathe. Thank you for sharing your year. Let’s hope 2020 is a much better one. Let’s remember that it’s ok to look after ourselves.
Oh my gosh Sharon you sound like one very strong lady. Dementia is one horrible disease, a very close family member also suffers but is now past the violent stage.
I’m sorry for all you’re going through. Remember to take care of yourself, piece a little time out of each day which is just for you.
Jo x
Loved your blog Jo and the way you cut it to the bone. Onwards and upwards to you all. You are an amazing team and the inner strength you have is amazing. Taking a step back and being in the moment isn’t easy when you’re on the hamster wheel. With you determination you will have it nailed by the end of January. ?❤️?